Archive for April, 2010

waiting. . .

waiting is the title of a book i bought off a $1 book rack on johnson drive in mission, kansas. i was intrigued by the title because in many ways i feel like i am in a season of waiting. (it is one of the hardest things for me to do, i have to say that i am a pretty impatient person!)

it turns out when i opened the book, it had nothing to do with the romantic idea of waiting for your prince to come, waiting for mr. right, or any of those type of ideas. it was a documentary/story about waiting tables. now you are talking! that is something that i am extremely familiar with.

some of my first and favorite jobs were waiting tables, serving, being a waitress, or whatever the politically correct term you would want to apply. (now of course i HAD to purchase the book. it is a decoration on a coffee table at my house. perhaps i will read it some day.)

this idea of waiting is hard. i was just handed my hot coffee on my flight to dallas and thought again about waiting on others. it is truly hard work. yet there is this strong desire in my heart at times to just return to waiting tables. my brother and i got in an argument just the other day because we are extremely competitive with each other and were talking about who was a better server. he seemed to think that my skills were more about the fact that i had blonde hair, but truly i was a good server, i will forgive him his ignorance!

anyway, i realized as we argued why i really do love that job so much. it is because it makes people happy.

a hot coffee with the right amount of cream and sugar can always make me happy. thank you american airlines stewardesses.

i also realized this is probably why i do many of the things that i do. i truly enjoy bringing comfort and cheer to people who may have otherwise gone without or been hurting. my gifts are truly mercy gifts. in Romans 12:8 it says that if you show mercy to do it with cheerfulness. the last few months have been truly overwhelming and in so doing i have lost a significant part of my cheerfulness and joy that goes along with those mercy gifts and in many ways things have become a burden.

i am trying to believe that God will restore that for me. much like at times he restores joy and peace.

thank you so much for your prayers over the last few months and your continued love and support.

i might just go back to “waiting” tables even if my brother makes fun of me.


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wonder. . .

i hope i never lose the sense of wonder.

yet i know all too well that at the young age of 28 years that i have already become so dull to it.

i am in one of the blue chairs that are so familiar to me. i am on an american airlines flight. the strong hum of the engine is in my ear. i realized that i have lost the sense of wonder when i hear a little girl in front of me exclaim, “daddy, we are flying!!” her eyes light up so bright as she looks to her father. he tells her she can’t talk so loud because other people need to sleep or are resting. her eyes are still bright as she looks out and says “look, you can see the whole city.” i realize that you can see the city and the sun broke through the clouds as we rose to meet it.

i sat up a bit straighter.
i looked out the window a bit longer.
i thanked God for the beauty of His creation.
i glanced behind me between seats only to see an eager boy straining to see out the front window.

yes, i have lost my sense of wonder, but am so grateful for the little reminders of how amazing it truly is that “ we are flying. . .”

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i know not many people check my blog because i have not written much recently, but i am back in haiti safe and sound. i wrote a couple things during my flights and hope to post soon, but just wanted to say thanks to all who were praying for me as i traveled.

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